wrestling with God

I feel like I have been sick my whole life.  I have written many times about my struggle with depression.  But that is not what I am writing about today.  No, today I am struggling with my other life long sickness... motion sickness.

To many motion sickness is a malady they have while riding in a car or sailing in a boat or flying in a plane.  The terrible nausea that is associated with the movement of the car or the rocking of the boat or the shivering of the plane during turbulence.  The sickness that makes it difficult and uncomfortable to travel.  If you suffer from motion sickness, you know what I am talking about: the nausea, the sudden heat flash, the feeling of spinning, even the sensitivity to light and noise.  Thankfully there is Dramamine.

Yes, I suffer from traveling motion sickness, but mine goes a little farther than that.  I get sick when I swim or even just float in the water.  I get sick when I rock in a rocking chair.  I get sick watching my grandchildren twirl.  I get sick when I vacuum.  I get sick when I unload the dryer or the dishwasher.  I get sick when I clean the shower or the tub.  I get sick when I lean down to shave my legs.  I get sick when I exercise. I even get sick when I go shopping.  And the list goes on and on.

Dramamine often keeps me from getting sick, unfortunately not always.  I took Dramamine before I started to clean today.  I got my office dusted and vacuumed, but then I started to feel sick.  I had to stop and lie down.

I am lying down and feeling sorry for myself and doing some wrestling with God.  I have been incredibly blessed by God.  I know this.  I am even trying to keep a list of the gifts that He gives me (One Thousand Gifts by Ann Vankamp).  Yet, today I am questioning why I am so blessed, but often can't enjoy those blessings.  God has given me a loving husband, but I can't do many of the things that he would enjoy doing.  Then there are Andy and Matt, Kelly, Amelia and Asher, family, and friends that I am also limited in what activities that I can enjoy with them.  God has given me a beautiful house, but I get sick when I clean it.  There are so many things that I want to do, but can't.  I am wrestling with God.

Jacob wrestled with God.  I read about it this morning in Genesis.  He wrestled all night.  I'm not really sure what Jacob wrestled with God about.  I know that Jacob was on his way home and was about to face his brother Esau, whom had sworn to kill him for stealing their father's blessing.  I know that Jacob was afraid for his life and also the life of his wives and children.  Was Jacob wrestling with God because God had told him to go home...or was it about how Jacob was suppose to handle Esau... or was it much deeper and Jacob was wrestling with God over whether Jacob would accept God as his God?  In the end Jacob walked with a limp, was blessed by God, and had his name changed to Israel.

So, today I am wrestling with God.  What will be the outcome?  I don't know.  I do know that any time spent with God brings change... a deeper understanding of who God is, who I am, and how much He loves me.

Glory

Today I was reading Psalms 3:3.  It says:  But Thou O Lord are a shield about me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head. Those words are in one of my oldie but goody choruses, but today the words "my glory" stuck in my mind.

According to Strongs glory means to make or appear glorious, splendor, brightness, majesty, the glorious moral attribute and infinite perfection of God. (Don't you hate when the definition uses the word it is suppose to be describing!)

Rick Warren wrote: Glory is who God is: the essence the weight of His importance, the radiance of His splendor, the demonstration of His power, the atmosphere of His presence. (I love this definition of God's glory!)

So in this verse in Psalms do you think that David is claiming God, who is glorious, is his God or do you think that David is saying any glory that he has is a reflection of God's glory?

"When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond you natural ability and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless." Jesus Calling

II Corinthians 5:7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Galatians 5:25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

*****

I have been upset about the lack of energy that I have been feeling lately. I need to stop worrying about what I can't do and concentrate on what God can do!! What about you?

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one thousand gifts

598. working in the garden

599. dinner with the Shores

600. my strength in Jesus

security

"I want you to realize how utterly secure you are! Even if you falter as you journey through life, I will never let go of your hand...Knowing that your future is absolutely assured can free you to live abundantly today." Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Psalm 37:23-24 The steps of a man are established by the Lord; and He delight in His way. When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.

*****

Jesus is there holding our hand at all times. We will fall, but He will hold on and help us up!

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one thousand gifts

594. Asher feeling better

595. being able to pick Amelia up at pre-school

596. Tom and Amelia holding hands and talking

597. knowing Jesus is holding my hand

needs

"The world is a needy place; do not go there for sustenance. Instead, come to Me.Learn to depend on Me alone, and you weakness will become saturated with My power. When

you find your completeness in Me, you can help other people

without using them to meet your own needs."

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control...

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Where do we go when we are in need? Do we turn to Jesus or do we try to do it ourselves or do we look to others? Jesus is the only one who can fulfill our need.

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one thousand gifts

591. a beautiful day

592. strength for today

593. answers to all my needs

single-mindedness

"Save your best striving for seeking My Face... you must seek Me above all else. Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol...Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, tralk with Me about it...If the cogal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it."

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.

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Isn't it easy to get some goal in your head that you let it become single-minded about the goal instead of single-minded about God? I know that my losing weight is a goal that God desires for me, but it can not become my main focus. I can not let it rule my day or how I am feeling. How about you? Is there something that you have become single-minded about? Let's try and focus on God today instead.

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one thousand gifts

587. robins signalling spring is almost here

588. sleeping babies

589. loosing wight

590. Jesus my hearts desire

the day ahead

"Let Me help you through this day. The challenges you face are far too great for you to handle alone. You are keenly aware of you helplessness in the scheme of events you face. This awareness opens up a choice: to doggedly go it alone or to walk with Me in humble steps of dependence." Jesus Calling

Psalm 63:7-8 For Thou hast been my help, and in the shadow of Thy wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to Thee; Thy right hand upholds me.

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I'm not sure if the day ahead seems too daunting or if I am just tired or maybe a little depressed, but today is one of those days that I would like to just go back to bed. How about you? It is good to know that whatever we face or however we feel, we are not alone. Jesus is with us.

*****

one thousand gifts

585. sunshine and warmer weather

586. Jesus, always with me

anxious thoughts

"When something in your life or thoughts makes you anxious, come to Me and talk about it."

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made know to God.

Isaiah 26:3 The steadfast of mind Thou will keep in perfect peace. Because he trusts in Thee.

*****

What ever is bothering us this morning, God wants us to talk to Him about it. That is how we will find peace in any situation.

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one thousand gifts

573. strength for today

574. talking to God about worries

the path

"You are on the right path. Listen more to Me, and less to your doubts.

I am leading you along the way I designed for you."

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path.

*****

The path you are on is where Jesus wants you to be. He has brought you to this place for a reason. Walk with Him and listen to Him. Don't keep questioning. He has a plan for you.

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one thousand gifts

569. finishing Beth Moore's "Mercy Triumphs"

570. beautiful "spring" day

571. Tom's energy when I have none

572. the path I am on

judging

"Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role... Don't look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional love.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that who ever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

the future

"I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy--even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. "

Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of the law.

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Oh, how often I've thought if I just knew what was going to happen, I could deal with it. I have always hated being in 'limbo' and not knowing or waiting to see what was going to happen next. I've not ever thought about the future being one of God's secrets. A secret that He chooses and controls. A secret that He reveals at just the right moment. I am to trust Him and focus on the truths that He has already revealed to me: His unending love, His purpose for my life, His sovereignty... and so much more.

How about you? Are you wasting your time wanting to know God's secret of your future, when He is desiring for you to enjoy this day that He is revealing to you? Let's celebrate today!

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565. breakfast good-byes to Kurylos

566. visit with Dad

567. listening to love and respect

568. safe trip home

our day

"Rest in My presence, allowing Me to take charge of this day. Do not bolt into the day like a race horse suddenly released. Instead, walk purposefully with Me, letting Me direct your course one step at a time. Thanking Me for each blessing along the way;

this brings Joy to both you and Me."

Jesus Calling

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourself to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

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How did you start out your day? Were you off to the races or walking purposefully with God? Let's slow down and spend some time walking with God. Let's spend some time talking with God and thanking Him for all the many blessings He has given us. Let's let him guide us through the rest of our day.

my weakness

"You need Me every moment. Your awareness of your constant need for Me is your greatest strength."

I Thessalonians 5:17 pray with out ceasing.

John 26:24 Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full.

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Since I began my new diet, Leanness Lifestyle, a few weeks ago, my life seems to be crazy. I have to spend several hours reading, logging what I eat, and exercising. These are all good things, but they seem to be putting a lot of pressure on me. I know that the first couple of months will be the busiest and then it should become easier. With my depression I really need to keep my life very simple and keep God as my top priority. Please pray for me that I can find a good balance in my life. How about you? Are you too busy? Is it time to reevaluate what your priorities are? Let's commit to keeping Jesus foremost in our lives.

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one thousand gifts

552. Beth Moore Bible studies

553. sunshine

554. my car

555. Jesus foremost in my life

trust and thankfulness

"Trust and thankfulness will get you safely through this day. Trust protects you from worrying and obsessing. Thankfulness keeps you from criticizing and complaining..."

Colossians 2:6-7 As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.

*****

What does your day look like? Mine started a little hectic,

but God is faithful and I will praise Him.

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one thousand gifts

549. Tom's tests

550. getting things done

551. the faithfulness of God.

true center

"Learn to live in your true Center in Me. I reside in the deepest depths of your beign, in eternal union with your spirit."

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in you hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful.

problems

"You are feeling weighed down by a plethora of problems, both big and small. They seem to require more and more of your attention, but you must not give in to those demands. When the difficulties in your life feel as if they're closing in on you, break free by spending quality time with Me." Jesus Calling

Exodus 3:14 And God said to Moses, "I am who I am," and He said, "Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, "I am has sent me to you.' "

*****

Lately several things have been weighing me down. It seems like I keep thinking and thinking about them, coming up with no solution. This is when I need to readjust my focus back to God. He is the I Am. He alone can truly fix what is wrong.

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hard eucharist: Matt's bike stolen

548. talking to Mom

God with us

I am with you. These four words are like a safety net, protecting you from falling into despair. Because you are human, you will always have ups and downs in you life experience. But the promise of My Presence limits how far down you can go.

Psalm 73:23-24 Nevertheless I am continually with Thee; Thou hast taken hold of my right hand. With Thy counsel Thou wilt guide me, and afterward receive me to glory.

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Life is hard, but we know that God is with us, holding our hand.

546. the sun shining on the frosted grass

547. a breakfast date with Tom

changing

"I am the Risen One who shines upon you always. You worship a living Deity, not some idolatrous, man-made image. Your relationship with Me is meant to be vibrant and challenging. as I invade more and more areas of your life. Do not fear change, for I am making you a new creation, with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon." Jesus Calling

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things have passed away, behold new things have come.

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Do not fear change. Hard words for me. But I know that Jesus is wanting me to change and become more like Him. How about you? Is there something Jesus is wanting to change in you? Let's let go of the old and rejoice at the new.

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one thousand gifts

546. the sun shining on the frosted grass

547. a breakfast date with Tom

God can handle it

"Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me. Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me. Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine. Instead of trying to direct Me to do this or that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing." Jesus Calling

Luke 1:37"For nothing will be impossible with God."

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What has been bothering you? Focus on God and let Him handle it.

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one thousand gifts

541. exercise

542. friendly people

543. Tom, my rock

love, not fear or worry

"Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of life,, relying on your ever-present Companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life--and onward to eternity. Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. " Jesus Calling

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand. Who says to you, "Do not fear, I will help you."

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Today let's have our day filled with love and not worry and fear.

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one thousand gifts

538. Amelia dancing

539. my valentine Tom

540. God's love